The worst that can happen

Time and time again we’ll hear from others or ask ourselves “what’s the worst that can happen?”

If I don’t do well in this class, what’s the worst that can happen? If I go back to my hometown and it doesn’t feel the same, what’s the worst that can happen? If I mess up during this interview, what’s the worst that can happen?

And most of the time we don’t even attempt to answer it. 

While it’s true that part of the answer relies on a hypothetical reality we simply cannot predict, I think what really pushes us away from trying to solve the answer is fear. 

Fear of the unknown; if we humor the idea of the worst outcome, maybe it’ll be so bad that we could never recover, so overwhelming that we’ll wish we’d never done it in the first place, so impactful that it’ll permanently affect the way we behave in the future?

So out of such fear, we often evade even trying to answer this question, thinking maybe ignorance is bliss and it’s best not to know...

Until we start to witness how much not considering the answer to this question controls us. 

For instance, while preparing for tests we, without intentionally initiating it, often begin to think about the grade. For a brief second we consider the idea of failing. A few seconds of worry later, we shut these thoughts down. We tell ourselves that we must refuse to think about it because it’s only stirring us with more fear. 

Ironically, after doing this, it feels like all your brain can do is think about the possibility of failing- getting a C, mispronouncing the interviewer’s name, getting kicked out of a class, learning that maybe you’ve changed in a way childhood you would have never predicted. 

All this noise from the flood of thoughts continues to heighten and, just as loudly, the fear in your head yells to stop thinking. Back and forth this pattern continues- the hypothetical scaring the fear in us and our fear trying to shut down the hypothetical. 

No one wins. There’s simply a constant battle. The damage builds. And suddenly you’re more scared of the unknown than you were in the first place. 

But again, this is fear we’re talking about. So the solution, as painful and tiring as it can be, is to face it: address the unknown. Consider the possibilities, entertain the idea of failure, gauge the consequences. 

By gaining a better understanding of the worst that can happen, you can imagine that the next time you approach an exam, you feel, in a way, a little less overwhelmed; when you question yourself asking  “oh gosh what if I forget everything I learned?” and, instead of quieting this possibility in your head or submitting to the dominance of the unknown, you actually answer it.

The future, though truly unpredictable, isn’t as scary. 

It may feel wrong at first. How is thinking about the worst case going to help me feel more confident? Aren’t I just feeding my brain more negative thoughts?

Though not the most encouraging thoughts, what you are feeding your brain is the truth. Maybe you will get a C on the test, maybe you won’t get the job, maybe home will not feel like home at first. 

So, you go into that exam knowing, to the best of your abilities, the possible outcomes. You are going in informed and sure, you may still be scared of what may result, but less of your fear is attributed to questioning what, but rather if the worst that can happen happens.

The “worst that can happen” will no longer feel like this overwhelming, dark, mysterious stranger but somewhat of an acquaintance. 

You become familiar with the possibilities and a lot of the times they aren't as bad as they seem. 

Other situations, like going back to your hometown after years, more clearly underlines the  benefit of considering the answer to this question: afraid to figure/find out what the “worst that can happen” is, you can refuse to go home; instead of trying, you can freeze. 

Or you can tell yourself yes, maybe the worst that can happen is I feel like a foreigner in the place I grew up in, maybe my personality has changed, maybe there are parts I absolutely hate, and maybe I won’t like being there. And with these semi-answered questions in mind, you go to your hometown and, if the worst that can happen happens, you live through it. You can physically watch yourself live through the “worst.”

Maybe it takes days, weeks, or months but, the percentage of unknown decreases in all cases. It wains.

And either you will hate it or you love it. Either way, now you know. You learn.

Fear, in this case and in most cases, is of the unknown and, in default mode, we think that reflecting upon this unknown will hurt us more.

So, we shield ourselves from situations further; what started out as a small little mysterious box gets wrapped in protective wrapping paper again and again and again. We think that doing this will make us notice the box less and wonder what’s inside of it less when in fact all this wrapping and packing and protecting makes this box seem so much bigger and less avoidable. 

When you decide to rip the paper and get into the box, the mystery will not frighten you as much and you will feel free from the dominating rule of the unknown.

You know now; whether by thinking about the possibilities or living through it, you know. 

It may not be fun or light, but allowing ourselves to think about the unknown gives us power. And, in a way, the worst case seems less scary because we may give ourselves the room to accept it; when we walk into the exam room, we we walk in knowing yes if the worst comes to worse I get a C in this course and if that happens, I can retake it or restudy or approach the professor or find some other solution. It starts to seem solvable. 

“The truth sets you free.”